Friday, September 28, 2007

And they smell like Pine-Sol

Women are like the forest; mysterious and full of wolves.


Dear everyone,

I'm sorry if I hurt you, but I just can't bear to spend my final days slowly shrivelling up and drying out. We all know the end is coming. You might say I just took a shortcut. Please remember me as I was - green, moist, gently swaying in the breeze - and not as the grotesque red thing I turned into at the end. I love you all. Don't cry for me. I'm somewhere better now (on the ground, I mean) and I look forward to meeting you all there again someday.

Goodbye,
Leif Maple

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